the stephtaculars

Friday, June 30, 2006

three nights of not being able to sleep well is a cause of concern for me. im beginning to think that my insomnia is coming back. last night was the worst. i went to bed at 1am. tried to sleep cos if everyone knows, im kinda sleep deprived at this moment. but somehow i couldnt sleep. was scratching and scratching and drifting in and out of consciousness. was feeling very frustrated by then. i finally got so frustrated i woke up at bout 5ish or 6ish to tear my comforter cover off my comforter cos i suspected that it was the comforter cover that was making me scratch. and i sat on my bed for bout 3 mins before going back to sleep. sleep didnt improve much after that. had really vivid dreams which didnt make my sleep any better.. woke up again at 10ish, went back to sleep after that. woke up at 11ish went back to sleep after that and finally woke up at 12ish when mo called. seriously sleep deprived and its just making me physically and mentally crappy. just hope my insomnia doesnt come back again. the last time it happened it really wasnt a good feeling. ah well. theres budak to look forward to. hopefully things will get better tonight.

steph craptaculated at
1:10:00 PM

Thursday, June 29, 2006

this is going to be random. but im really bored.

budak tmrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! woooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo!

cant wait!!!!!!!!!

hahaha. wait for my post tmr on how budak turned out! grins.

nights nights!

steph craptaculated at
11:38:00 PM

i told myself ill only blog about daily issues or certain things that are bugging me at that point of time. sometimes i wonder why. is it because of past experiences that have made me more wary about online blogging or is it because im just simply lazy to type? people always commented that duh its an online thing and its very highly probable that people all over will read whatever you wrote. some stuff are meant to be kept as a secret so dont blog it down and dont be stupid. but sometimes the blog is used as an avenue for your friends to know about your latest happenings.. especially in times like these where we are often or not too busy with other commitments in life that we fail to catch up with the rest of our friends. and sometimes blogs are used as an avenue to channel their thoughts.. things that people think about and want to write it down. or just simply their feelings about certain issues or events. i have no idea why im typing all this out. bah must be craziness. rarrrr

anyway. for all those who knows about me trying to discern bout my next move in css. well, i have more or less made up my mind. i hope thats what the big guy wants me to do.. so do ask me if you're curious to find out.

meeting later. im going to be late again. wads new. hah

budak tmr! i cant wait. been so long since i last heard them. really miss their singing and bluemoo. so happy that many many people will be going. ah one more day.

melllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll i miss you.

roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ade we so need to go to the zoo. hugs

k enough of my ranting.

bye guys.

steph craptaculated at
12:57:00 PM

goood day today. the only drawback to today was my tiredness. was freaking tired today..seriously drifting in and out.. as if im floating that sort of feeling. i could have slept everywhere i went man. thank goodness i didnt. but yeah. and i cant sleep yet cos i have tons to settle which i almost forgot about till jon reminded me cos i was so preoccupied with wanting to sleep early. so ya thats why im still up. ah well.

but really was a good day today. lunch with mark and moses was really cool. the wanton mee stall at jln kayu really not bad leh. and the talks we had was good. but of course. it was even better when ade joined us at mark's place. miss mark's basement man! haha. we had a super good talk and catching up session at his basement and laughed till our sides ached like crap! haha. was good was good. dinner with netto and alexis was really fun also. haha and of course, oreo frappes and milk in heaven desserts at grapevine was even better. just sad that we all had to leave early. but was really a good day.

arts com meeting tmr. and i so need to have dinner at home tmr night.

better get started on my stuff and head to bed.

nights.

steph craptaculated at
12:11:00 AM

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

i get freaking irritated when pple starts thinking that just because a guy and a girl are close, they like each other or one likes the other or smth like that. WAHLAO u mean there's no such thing as platonic friendships meh. and it doesnt mean its only been a short time and they cannot be close. where got such thing. if anyone knows me well enough, they should know that its highly probable that i can get close to a person in a very short time. so its very possible. and very possible that i have many many close guy friends who are just friends and nothing else. its damn frustrating.. ever since jc till now. and it still doesnt stop. super irritating la. right, maybe im over-reacting and yeah people are just teasing and concerned. i really appreciate everyone's concerns but if u know me well enough you should know that its purely platonic and that we're just friends la. arghhhh just irritated that the world cant seem to accept platonic friendships. and whats worse is that if the guy/girl happens to be attached, and has a close friend of the opposite gender out of the blue, it seems that the friend likes them and not the other way round. which is bloody unfair and irritating. ever thought that it might just be that they are just friends and nothing else????? arghhhhh.

anyway. i think im just tired and pms-ing. so ignore me.

steph craptaculated at
12:41:00 AM

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

sigh thought i could stay home and slack and nuah and settle arts accounts as well as some post-foc stuff.. but i got called back to work to relief one of the teachers on leave. doesnt help that i just woke up half an hour ago and i gotta meet my cousin at 2pm at lot1 to pass him back his camera. sigh there goes my slack-at-home day of the week.

but i had a great conversation with jon last night. talking about serving more and about sji boys (i wonder why ahh. -grins) and of course, bout my last blog entry. thanks jon for calling. it was really fun talking to you.. and i really appreciate you calling. so im better today alr! i think the last entry was really random. and i guess what jon was right in saying, to some extent some of the feelings that i was feeling last night was really something that i just imagined myself. some what like zi zhao one. so im better today alr. =)

dumdeedum. i better get started on my breakfast and prepare to meet my cousin.. and work! arghh. wasnt for the fact that i need the money i would seriously just stay home and rest. sigh

okok ta everyone.

steph craptaculated at
1:22:00 PM

Monday, June 26, 2006

i feel.. stuck. i dont like being in a situation whereby i know that whatever that i might want to do is wrong.. and i still wanna do it. cos its just.. wrong. and im doing it even though i know that its wrong. i really dont like feeling this way. sucks. i wish things were simpler. not that im not glad bout how it turned out.. but maybe simpler. sigh. then again maybe im just pms-ing. feeling low and lousy as usual. i mean, i am happy these days.. mark asked me how were things just now and he thought my last entry sounded happy. i mean, i am happy. truly i am. its just that im so confused and conflicted.

mellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll i need to talk to u nowwwwwwwwwwww.

sigh.

i think i just need to sleep. sleep deprivation. screwing up my thinking ability. and i so need to pray. yes pray.

sigh.

nights everyone.

steph craptaculated at
11:54:00 PM

you know how sometimes God just simply works in ways you cannot see. well, i must say that God has brought unexpected news to me. i was kinda hoping for something for the last few months.. for something good to happen in my life. but now that He has given me some sort of goodness.. it makes me wonder whether it is real.. like how i never exactly get things to turn out well. and how i just dont get to be really happy happy. i mean i am happy and all la. but aiyah i dont know how to explain. anyway ignore that part. its probably just ramblings here and there again. but well. i still believe everything happens for a reason. we just wouldnt know what that reason is.

had a fun night yesterday. went to watch some fire display with the few of them: ade fel dantan albert brian ben and my new york colleague, zach. dinner was fun.. was cool hanging out with them again. and we trotted down to devils bar to watch the england vs ecuador match. was damn fun la. we were there cursing and swearing at the near-goals and all that. was a nice experience having people around watching the match and the uproars that u hear after a goal or a miss. haha reached home late.. ben was really nice and sent me home. very much appreciated esp when zach was totally off last night.. think he might be a lil high or smth. i was so glad ben was around lor. but yea. thanks ben. =)

i should try to refrain from late night conversations.. i havent slept so late because of a telephone call in such a long time. heh but it was fun of course. =)

ah well. gonna go bathe and get out of the hse to meet adel to visit my darling reub korkor.

till later guys.

steph craptaculated at
5:39:00 PM

Saturday, June 24, 2006

woooo. really tired. work today nearly killed me. was so freaking tired i down two cups of coffee and it still didnt help.. was feeling cranky at work. and didnt help that my kids were super noisy and out-of-hand today. was trying so hard not to get mad at them. i mean they were damn cute la. they actually confessed that they missed me cos i didnt teach last week.. so sweet right? haha. love them to bits but they really test my patience with their nonsense at times. sigh children these days. haha

yesterday was funn! hahah. been long since i hung out with moses and mark, just sitting there talking rubbish and laughing our heads off. only that adeline wasnt around! if not perfect lor. haha but it was really fun. having lunch with mark at hougang point (was it?) and catching up before heading over to moses's place to play board games. the best part bout the board games part was monopoly. i never had so much fun playing monopoly before!! haha. and talk about suay. moses was damn suay. even though he owned the most number of property and all the train stations, he still went bankrupt because he landed on my queen astrid park which had 2 houses on it 3 times in 3 rounds!! hahaha. super funny la! mark and i were laughing so hard our stomach hurt like crap. hahah. he had to pay $600 for rent. and it was really damn funny. hahaha. monopoly could never have been more fun i tell you. really miss these good old times of laughing till my tummy hurts. =) we went for a walk around mo's condo and talked and talked. was really good chat and talk. glad we had this chance to catch up.. =) thanks mo and mark for the company! =)

we went out to pick ben from serangoon after that cos the rest of the night was world cup night. hahah was initially just mark mo me and ben before netto carol and jon came over to join us. hahah super fun watching world cup with them. and i swear thats the most civilised world cup match that i have seen, where a group of pple coming over and trying as hard as possible to remain civilised. hahah but bobian. cos mo's family was home and it was late. so we had no choice but to keep it down. but we still had lotsa fun. ben was damn cute la hahah he was trying so hard to mind his colourful language everytime saudi or spain did some stupid thing and he ended up squeezing the cushion damn hard. haha even carol was laughing at how silly he was. haha thanks boy for minding it. really appreciate it =)

but yeah. so nice of them all lor. mark went home cos he was not feeling well. so netto gave me a lift home while the rest of them followed me back in his car cos they were going out for supper after that. thanks everyone. =) i really had fun yesterday. we should do it again some day. really really fun. grins.

ah. nxt week must go ktv. we all damn gian already. haha and must watch superman! so must watch like the last time we watched xmen 3.. whole bunch of the arts ppl watching it tog. hehe and its budak next week!! so exciting! bringing quite a large number of the css people. and really excited about it! =)

ah. so much excitement. must calm myself down so i can sleep early. i really need the sleep. and stop talking late into the night even though i enjoy those conversations. grins. =)

steph craptaculated at
9:55:00 PM

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

went out for lunch with daniel (my niuniu) today. haha i was late again. whats new right. i really have to kick that habit leh. not good not good. but anyway. lunch actually formerly started at 3 even though i reached city hall at bout 115pm. hehe cos we went for sakae's sushi buffet which starts at 3pm. we spent the rest of the time shopping for my shoes. hahah poor niu lor. have to go through all that shopping for shoes and clothes with me. heheh. but was good fun. =) lunch was... filling. so filling that the two of us were desperately trying to squeeze down the food we both ordered. taking funny pictures of each other eating and video-ing our most unglam eating ways. which niuniu deleted all of those that i took of him. argh. still mad at him for that. so niu, if u're reading this, im still angry with u ok! hmmph. but yeah. it was good fun at sakae eating.. been long since i had eaten at any buffet. not that its worth bringing me along anyway. my stomach has shrank so much that i cant eat much. which is a waste cos i love eating. just afraid of putting on too much weight. hah. anyway. shopped around citylink and ended up tcc drinking milkshakes and marking his work. hahah once a teacher, always a teacher man. they really mark their work everywhere they go. terrible i tell you. grins. oh well. always fun to hang out with him.. right niu? big grins. =) we should do it again some day.. when u having hols again la! =) hee.

tmr my mom's on leave. we're going to go for facial tog. haha. exciting. and hopefully, we can do some shopping with all the vouchers that we have.. i seriously need to maximise on gss. havent started at all. sigh how pathetic is that. oh well. when u have no moolah, you cant do anything. looking forward to tmr!

oh i bought a new book! hahaha. damn happy la. been so long since i read a new book. which is mine. and i can read it over and over again. grins. so happy. just finished it just now. love mystery wrapped with romance theme in the novels.

ok enough rattles bout my self-amused life. haha shall head to bed now.

nights!

steph craptaculated at
11:26:00 PM

i suddenly realised that my blogskin fits the foc finale really well! =) grins. im still very very touched by the 2 rainbows in the sky. and it is really, to me, that the sky is painted with the colours of God. now i know where my inspiration came from. God himself. =) so filled with His Spirit and His love now. i must post up pictures of the camp to show you all. the fellowship and the love felt at foc itself.

css foc 2006! acts 29 - in love there is no fear. indeed there is no fear with love. =)

my darling freshmen!

my dearest co-head, felicia and me!!

shabu shabu!!

macha-gi with the station masters- joel, alexia and myself!

takopachi!!

udonnn!

hahahaha. the sandwiches from the sandwich game. grins.

arts fcg during foc!! the most happening fcg!!!! woohoooooooo!

i could go on posting pictures on my blog.. but i just realised my blog would burst with pictures. hahah really love foc. super inspired. they really taught me stuff.. and inspired me with love. hope we can go on sustaining this love and faith. =) so a big huggie wuggie to all you out there.. now is the time for us to sustain that love and faith. =)

steph craptaculated at
12:22:00 AM

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

i just had to blog about this quote.

"resurrection of the sji bastards"

hahaha. thought it was damn funny! classic phrase of the century man. but before you sji people get offended you must know the context of the phrase first. cos ben and i were talking over the phone and he was mentioning that the batches of josephians after his batch are not as josephians as his batch and the batch before.. saying that they lack some sort of 'bastardly' thing to them. not that the sji guys are bastards la.. but just that they lack some thing which ben endearly termed 'bastardly tendencies'. hahahha so ya dont flood me asking why i blog bout such thing. i just thought its really amusing and funny. hahah if ben reads this he'll prob shake his head and wonder why the hell i blogged this. haha =)

im beginning to be very intrigued by the freshmen coming in this year.. dont get me wrong. im not interested in any of them. just find them interesting.. lotsa them are deeper than they look. they have certain things in their life about them that makes them interesting.. certain issues, problems and ya, just certain things about them. like ben. he seems shallow but is actually deeper than what he looks or gives people the impression. well. it was a nice conversation with him. =) yup.

anyway. went out with the main commers today for lunch and movie. first time we actually went out and not talked bout work! was damn fun! hahaha. love my main com honestly. damn fun to be around them. they're just plain funny and ridiculous la. =) hugs. fel and mine silly main com. =) watched cars. thought it was a fantastic movie. feel-good movie man. very funny and heart-warming. well, its disney and pixar. so no surprise over at that. =) but yea. it had been a great day la.

tmr gotta give my cousin tuition. better head to bed.

nights guys.

steph craptaculated at
1:34:00 AM

Sunday, June 18, 2006

the rainbows that God sent to us on sentosa day. =)

steph craptaculated at
11:30:00 PM

been wanting to blog about foc for the entire weekend but have been really tired to blog. after all, i slept for a whole 17 hours after i came back on friday night.. only waking at 4pm on saturday afternoon. so go figure la. but yeah. foc was a smashing success!! it was so fantastic that i still cant believe its over.. sitting in front of my laptop, looking through the few videos that i managed to capture over my borrowed digi cam and laughing to myself. really good memories. i would love to go into details about foc but too much stuff and im still tired =( so details will come another day.. but i just wanted to highlight a few key stuff that touched my heart alot.

for one, God's presence was really felt throughout the entire camp. from day zero's spiritual prep session to day two's main com debrief with heated tension but by the grace of God solved and eased out to day three's recon and p&w session where everyone was touched by the Spirit to day four at sentosa and the two rainbows that God sent to us. it just affirmed me at that moment. i was so touched and inspired. really felt the Spirit living within me and inspiring me at that moment.. it was so magical. i really felt Him throughout the entire foc.. this foc really made me grow in my faith level.. and allowed me to see His marvellous works. praise the Lord!

for another, the wonders how one person can just offer to be there for another and touched that person so deep, it makes that person feel God. im so blessed and thankful that God wanted me to be there.. and i am glad i was there because i knew i made a difference in someone's life. thank you Lord.

and lastly, the bonds established from this camp. the bonds within the main com, the bonds within the sub-coms, the bonds within the facils, the bonds with the freshmen, the bonds within the OGs themselves, the bonds between every single person involved in foc.. and most importantly, the bonds between each individual and God. praise God for blessing us and watching over us and bringing us together. praise God for His wonderful affirmation to us by sending us that two amazing rainbows in the sky.

all in all, praise God for His amazing works.

i love you Lord

steph craptaculated at
10:15:00 PM

Sunday, June 11, 2006

just ended facil workshop yesterday.. and it was a great success! special thanks to everyone who came and made it a success.. esp to the games commers who helped with the setting up of games and allowing games to run smoothly and dantan who helped planned the workshop and most importantly, God, for watching over and blessing the workshop. =) but it was a great experience. getting to know more people and esp the facils better. felt that we really did achieve some kind of bonds between our facils. am glad of that. =) and i've learnt alot from this workshop.. esp in terms of running of the workshop itself. its really different from what i used to do back in cj during council term. back then i was always head of a particular area of the job but never the head. now being one of the two heads, responsibility is heavier. and i've learnt alot from it. now foc coming up. just hoping all the best for it. cant wait for it actually. heh =)

and im suffering from a lack of sleep. super tired. havent caught up on any sleep yet. had to work today and had to wake up early. sleeping late tonight cos there are stuff to go thru with fel for tmr's mtg. and doubt ill sleep early tmr since foc is on mon with day zero on the programmes. i just hope i can last through foc and not fall sick. esp since im so prone to falling ill. argh.

had an interesting work day today. paired up with my new yorker colleague, zachary, to teach today. he's such a typical american college student honestly. hahah dont know how to explain that but yeah he is. had lotsa fun working with him today. =) and my students had fun too. haha good working day.

ah. i should head to bath and call fel. nights everyone. and keep foc in your prayers =)

steph craptaculated at
12:06:00 AM

Monday, June 05, 2006

really tired. really really tired. worked 10 long hours today.. and im coming down with a cold again which is really not funny. i am trying to keep myself healthy. drinking lotsa water, eating my vitamin c, and eating my meals regularly. the only thing i lack is sleep i guess. but hell, i didnt know my body was that weak. sigh. anyway. popped a flu pill already. gonna sleep after this. not even planning to go on msn and ask bout foc stuff. its gonna be another looong day tmr. but im just glad when i realised the amount going into my piggy. its really gonna help me alot. so well, for my piggy's sake, i have to hold on.

but yeah. it has been a long weekend. foc the whole of friday. work on saturday. and church for half of sunday. oh yeah. had a terrible haircut. i look terrible. i dont know how im going to meet everyone else this coming week. and i have foc and facil workshop in line the rest of the week. im just thankful school doesnt start till 2 months later. imagine walking around campus in the haircut. i dont even wanna imagine it. sigh.

and i have this really cool colleague. he's from new york, is co-teaching with me and the centre this couple of days and on saturdays. and damn, he's younger than me. thought he was older but apparently not. one year younger than me and now i understand why they say whites tend to look older than asians for their age. i definitely look younger than him. or at least i think. hm but its really cool having a colleague from new york who is also a varsity student who is going on to his second year back in ny. talk about different cultures and all. its fun having lunches with him and the kids definitely like him. haha really cute la my kids.

oh and i almost forgot about the girlies night out on saturday night. it was great meeting up the whole bunch of us. adel mel dionne loi and alex. haha yeah. we should do it more often. and the bimbotic photos! hahahah. we totally made a fool out of ourselves trying to take photos that night. loveyou all.

ah well. enough updates for the day. heading to bed. shall blog tmr after work ends.

steph craptaculated at
10:58:00 PM

Friday, June 02, 2006

over the hedge was good. hahha and funny. i remind myself of hammie!! hahahah. darn. mo and mark says i cant drink caffeine. if not everyone else will slow down! hahaha. sorry. this entry starts with really lame over the hedge lines. bahh late la. you all should know i get high when its late and when im tired. =) but the show is really nobbad. should go watch it if u all havent.

lotsa foc stuff waiting for me to do.. and ahhhhhh i cant seem to start on it cos i dont know where to start! and i cant reach fel now!!! she switched off her phone alr =( sigh. how. hai loong day tmr. games mtg followed by pub mtg. 11am to easily 7pm. sighhhh shall blog about how it goes tmr.

but more importantly. i wanna blog about the company today. mark moses and ade. good compant man. we seriously amuse ourselves. ok maybe just me. haha but hahah ade can imitate me. mark herself and i can imitate moses. and moses is just.. moses la. hahahah damn funny la. and its nice company. comfortable and nice. just the proximity thats the problem man. sucks. sigh but oh well. bobian. thankful for the company. and thankful to God for everything.

steph craptaculated at
12:39:00 AM

Thursday, June 01, 2006

decided to blog before i leave home to watch over the hedge with mark, mo and ade. lotsa thoughts in my mind plus ytd's events so thought i blogged it before forgetting.

ytd's arts outing watching xmen 3 was really fun. haha 22 of us actually went to watch the show at ps. how cool is that man. grins. show was ok.. a lil short but not too bad. cried when charles xavier died. how typical of me. but yeah. and the best part of ytd was going to timbre with ade, jon mello, charkwa, ian, jolene and ira. timbre never fails to make me happy. haha even though i dont drink. but yeah. good place to chill. had some really good conversations there with ade and jon. though jon was a lil high. heh. but yeah. was nice talking to them there amidst the music and all. we should do it more often. *winks at ade* ride home with ian was surprisingly nice. i was a little afraid and self-conscious.. after all im like what 6 years younger and i dunno leh prob just self-conscious lor. but was a good ride home. learnt lotsa stuff from the shifu also. haha but yeah. good day ytd.

but yeah. rested at home the whole day. forseeing the next 2 weeks to be really hectic and me suffering from a severe lack of sleep. so im trying to sleep more now to replace the lack of sleep later. if it even makes sense. but yea. i was going through the file that i received during foc last year.. reading all my warm fuzzies and all. and it struck me how much things have changed the last academic year. how i've changed and how the things in my life have changed. how my faith in God have taken a new insight and how i've been deeply struck by the love that i've received from the people around me. my bond with the css community has strengthened. my bond with the css arts community has strengthened. my attitude towards my studies have changed. my friendships with my old friends are slowly coming back. and how i've just learnt about myself. what i need and what i want. what i love and what i dont like. seems like my life has never been a uneventful one. events after events happening and things changing all the time. one might think that these changes decreases as one gets older but it seems like its not. my life seems to get more eventful as i grow older. haha oh well. just feeling nostalgic i guess. been long since i allowed myself to think anyway. makes me depressed and nostalgic and i dont like feeling depressed. if u all know me well enough la. oh well.

i should get going with my bath and leave home soon. if not ill be late again.

steph craptaculated at
4:22:00 PM

craptaculars

amended wishlist.
1. canon ixus digi cam
2. birks (madrid)
3. bottle of perfume
4. a pair of nice shorts
5. a pair of pretty heels
6. a pair of nice levis
7. money?
8. shopping at zara!!
9. couch/sofa/beanbag
10. ~~new phone.~~
11. ~~nice small water bottle that i will like drinking water from and can fit into my handbag~~
12. chill out at a nice place with good music
13. clothes many many more!
14. ~~hair dryer~~
15. ~~creative speakers and sub-woofer~~
16. the whole set of nora roberts books
17. watch a proper sunrise
18. a nice sporty jacket
19. ~~a medium sized bag & a large sized one like my white bag~~
20. ~~p&w cds~~
21. nice small bible that i can put in my bag to do my daily meditations
22. pretty pencil case thats not too big but yet big enough for me to put all my stationery
23. new pair of spectacles
24. ~~restock my contacts~~

better voice
salsa class!
or simply any dancing class
ahh diving classes! i wanna dive!
driving license hah
someone to go shopping with me
time to join an outside choir i miss singing

~~happiness~~
sleep
time
better health
better time management skills
exercise bleh
^{someone to love me like it will ever be true}